Ah! The sights and smells of the County Fair! Yes, gents and gals, L.A. County has a fair. Just a short jaunt from self-centeredland, you can see baby pigs and cows and goats, listen to has-been bands, gamble on race horses, buy not one, not two, but three Super Chamois sets, watch a live automatic cow-milking demonstration, see who made the best pickled corn or snickerdoodles, eat junk food, and ride rides to then expel that junk food. Behold, a few tiny mementos from our 12-hour trip there this year.

Thanks to the incredible heat, Michelle, Alan, and Cameron were with us for only a few hours. Cameron and Alan got to have the most fun of all of us, I wager. Who wouldn't want to ride an elephant? This was obviously a Hawaiian elephant, as it had a lovely lei around its noggin.

Our little cow friend posed a danger to Carol and her coif.

The cow wall was a gigglin' good time. I nearly look like a redneck, don't I? I am not, however, thanks to my anti-George Bush button. Had people known what that button stood for, I would have gotten beat up and left for dead in the pools of bilge behind the fried Twinkie truck.

Did I mention fried Twinkies? Yes, I did. You see, Fair food often comes in a few popular forms: BBQ, deep-fried, or on a stick. Somtimes, you can get combos, such as a deep-fried Snickers on a stick. The most interesting? The pork chop on a stick. Marcy had the guts to try this culinary oddity, and, of course, the humor factor turned out to be more worth the price than the actual food itself. (The trailer shown behind her served spaghetti in a bucket. Yum!)

After first trying and, thankfully, failing to get some unwilling random lady to ride with me in my bumper car, the creepy man who ran said amusement gave me two free ride tickets for guessing the song that was currently playing (amusingly enough, "Killer Queen" by Queen). Steve and I used the tickets to imperil our very lives on the aptly-named Euroslide. Perhaps this small film will impart unto you a sense of the adventure and danger Steve and I experienced. We thought we would die, it was so terrifying.