I feel like Steve Martin: "My toothbrushes are here! My toothbrushes are here!"

I have to use extra soft toothbrushes because of my brushing habits. I brush too hard and have, over the years, brushed some of my gums away. (Not enough to make me look like the Mouth of Sauron, however.) For many, many years now, I have been able to buy extra soft toothbrushes at Target or Sav-On or anywhere. Then, sometime last year, poof. All the retailers got together and said, "Hey, we can gain valuable shelf space for the new 24th color of the Colgate Interdental Plaqueinator with Sur-Tite Grip and Identi-Bristle ID System if we stop carrying extra soft toothbrushes. So let’s!"

There is not an extra soft toothbrush to be found anywhere in L.A. Sadly, this means I have to resort to the Web. Yes, I will now have to buy my toothbrushes online, paying for shipping and buying in bulk to save money and effort.

I won’t go into how difficult it was to find extra soft toothbrushes on the Web, but they are out there. And the slight problem with buying online is this: What if I hate a toothbrush? I can’t buy a dozen toothbrushes online untried and then brush my teeth with a crappy brush for the next decade. So my solution was to buy one each of three different kinds of brushes, try them, see which I like, then buy, like, a gross.

Today, they arrived. I have my three little brushes, and I can not wait to try them. For, you see, I hate my current brush, a gift from Marcy, who got it free from her dentist. I appreciate her getting it to me, and it served its purpose, but it was a horrible brush.

The cost for this three-brush experiment? $15.43. That’s $5.14 per brush. Ludicrous. Even in bulk, I will never get to pay a “paltry” $2.99 for a toothbrush again.

And that is the end of today’s story. Come back tomorrow when I talk about the bubbles of air that seem to be cropping up in tubes of toothpaste, lip ointment, and other goods so packaged. HINT: It’s a conspiracy!

Bait

Here’s how much of a Mac geek I am:

I have been looking forward to Steve Jobs’ keynote for a couple weeks now. There is usually a satellite feed that someone over at the Disney Channel building sets up so we can go over and watch the keynote live.

For some annoying reason, Apple is not allowing people to see the satellite feed this time! The keynote’s starting as I type this, and yet here I am, in the dark, doomed to wait like the rest of the world for Web updates and Apple site changes. What a shame! I am, it is to be said, crushed.

Maybe I can take a nap and when I awake, the keynote will be over and all the shiny new products will be announced for me to consume all at once!

Bait

It has happened again. Time to get to work and fix this problem. (Now the comments below make no sense.)

I am turning off HTML for now.

Yes, I’m back, and how nice to see my Forum was hijacked again. This time, they altered the actual database, so I will have to remove access to that somehow. Idiots. Well, Happy New Year everyone! And I promise to be in a better mood once I fix this hacking problem!