Tonight, I was out at The Abbey (which you must know I find tedious) to hopefully meet up with a funny, interesting guy I met online. Of course, he never showed up—at least while I was there. We probably just missed each other, and the meeting, in all fairness, was only tentatively planned.

Just as I was bagging, I ran into Drew, a guy who I started dating a little while ago after we’d met first at a birthday party, then after he asked for me to be invited to a Friday night hang-out in West Hollywood so he could really meet me.

I ended up hanging out with Drew tonight, but our chumming proved what I’d figured out a couple weeks ago: after two early dates with decent sex, it’s obvious now he’s not interested in me physically at all. Which is fine, but I wish he’d just say so.

At one point, we’d moved next door to Here (really, the name of that bar is constantly introducing road blocks to comprehensible language). While watching the moving throngs of people and pondering why I was somewhat disappointed that, with a record two possibilities in one night, I was not going to be getting any nookie of any kind, I asked Drew something. That question I now ask of anyone reading this. Yes, consider this the first Wren Forum Officially-Sanctioned Discussion Topic.

QUESTION: Would all this [hand sweeping over the scene at the bar] still happen if there were no sex?

My first answer would be, “No.” Certainly not this kind of mayhem. Drew also thought the answer was, in general, no.

In all honesty—and it’s pretty amazing that I’m able to get over my mental taboos and admit this here, in public—I would not have been there this evening if there were no possibility of having sex, either tonight or planting a seed for some in the future. No sex, I would not have even agreed to meet internet guy at The Abbey, opting instead to wait for a sane location where we could meet and see if things clicked in a non-sexual companionship kinda way. No sex, and I would not have gone with Drew to Here in hopes that he’d want to spend the night with me this time. No sex, I would have been in bed many hours ago!

Of course, socialization is a factor, but if you just wanted to hang with friends and get drunk with no possibility of getting laid, would bars be as popular and as important? I know since I don’t drink, my answer is skewed a certain way, but Drew drinks regularly, and he gave the same answer.

So what are all your thoughts? It’s fun to consider, and there are certainly no wrong answers.

Ready? DISCUSS!