Nine days ago, I went on a first date with a fella I met on Match.com. I’ll call him “Fella.” Today, he communicated via SMS that our friendship is over.

What happened? Why the compacted drama? I have no idea. But I do have most of the text messages we sent back and forth, and they make for interesting reading. I have removed names and numbers for obvious reasons.

He was a nice guy, sexy… but it’s amazing how intense pressure in this case does not make a diamond but makes, instead, just more coal.

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MONDAY, APRIL 24

First Date at Bossa Nova.

Fella      4/25/06 1:48 AM
Wow!!!

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TUESDAY, APRIL 25

Fella      4/25/06 9:43 AM
Morning fancy face! Thanks again for last night. It was unbelievable! Have a great day.

Me      4/25/06 10:05 AM
Good McMorning, McSir! Thanks for a nice night. Maybe a movie or more dinner on Thursday night?

Fella      4/25/06 10:57 AM
Sorry for the delay i’m in a training class for a new software system. Next.., whats up with this nice stuff?! Only nice?? Come on….! 2nd,..How about both?…

Fella      4/25/06 10:59 AM
3rd…You know you never have to ask.

Me      4/25/06 11:02 AM
Okay, VERY nice. 🙂 And yes, I suppose both would work just swelly.

Fella      4/25/06 6:08 PM
Thinkin’ bout cha 😉

Me      4/25/06
Sweet! Tiring day, and now I gotta do laundry. yuck!

Fella      4/25/06 6:27 PM
Remember to seperate the colors & segregate the whites from the blacks! (hahaha).

Fella is a man of color, so he can say such things.

Me      4/25/06
I believe in peace and love amongst all machine-washable garments.

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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 26

Fella      4/26/06 7:52 AM
‘morning fancy face!

Me      4/26/06
Good mornin!

Fella meets me at work and we eat at El Torito. He comes up to see my office and where I work.

Fella      4/26/06 3:42 PM
Thanks for making my day fancy face!

Me      4/26/06
You’re welcome. Thanks for not valet parking!

Fella      4/26/06 4:10 PM
Valet…? You’ll never have to wonder what matters most to me.

Fella      4/26/06 9:45 PM
Call me at work if you get the time tonight. XXX XXX XXXX

I don’t think I called.

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THURSDAY, APRIL 27

Fella      4/27/06 12:14 PM
I’m done with class @ work. Call me when you get a moment.

Me
I’m at the doctor’s office now. I’ll call when I’m done.

Fella      4/27/06 12:25 PM
Ok. Hope all is fine.

We talk on the phone, and after being tempted to not go, I decide to follow through with our plans to meet up. I’m getting sick again, so I suggest dinner instead of a movie so I can get home and sleep.

We have dinner at Olive Garden in Burbank. We go back to his place and, despite my hesitation, we make out a bit. No, nothing salacious, I assure you.

As I’m leaving, hours after I had wanted to be in bed, he says to call when I get home. Or not.

Me      4/28/06
P.S.: I’m home.

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FRIDAY, APRIL 28

Fella      4/28/06 9:31 AM
‘morning fancy face! Hope you’re feeling well. I’m in class now. Thanks again for a special evening.

Fella      4/28/06 6:42 PM
When you get a free moment i’d like to talk to you about something. It’s not an emergency, but it’s important to me.

I call Fella from Arclight, with 25 minutes to go before Matt and I are to see American Dreamz. He wants to know what my feelings are for him because he likes me a lot and if I am not feeling something for him, I should let him know. The conversation itself pushes me to choose that we not date, since I can not say what I feel for him. I tell him we have to finish the conversation later since my movie starts in 5 minutes.

Later that night, I call back, and I reiterate that, for the good of both of us, we’d better not date. But I definitely wouldn’t mind hanging out as friends. Sounds cliché, huh?

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SATURDAY, APRIL 29

Fella      4/29/06 9:08 AM
Morning fancy face! If it’s all the same with you, i’d like to keep you in my life as a friend as apposed to nothing at all. This week meant a lot to me.

Me      4/29/06
I think that’s a great idea. I’m up for that.

I have ad sales for CCPT from 10:00 to 12:00.

Fella      4/29/06 10:32 AM
Shoot me now!! I misspelled opposed with an a!

I am busy all day with a variety of stuff. I can’t bring myself to text message anything.

Fella      4/29/06 4:07 PM
Hope you’re feeling better. On my way home from work now.

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SUNDAY, APRIL 30

Fella      4/30/06 12:13 PM
Enjoy your game today fancy face!

I play volleyball, second week in a row! I haven’t played for eons. I forget to text Fella back.

Fella      4/30/06 10:50 PM
Good night.

Me      4/30/06
Sweet dreams.

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MONDAY, MAY 1

Fella      5/1/06 10:55 AM
‘morning! Hope you clobbered them, yesterday, in your game fancy face!

Me      5/1/06
I was bad at first but was playing well by the end of the day. It was lots of fun!

Fella      5/1/06 2:01 PM
I hope that it’s not too much to say that i miss seeing you?

Me      5/1/06
No, that’s nice. Thanks.

Crazy work day. CCPT meeting.

Fella      5/1/06 9:41 PM
Good night fancy face!

Fella      5/1/06 9:46 PM
Hope you’re feeling better.

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TUESDAY, MAY 2

Fella      5/2/06 9:38 AM
…At the gym now. Have a good day!

Me      5/2/06
You too. Hope your workout was delightful.

Fella      5/2/06 1:14 PM
I don’t know about delightful but it was ok. Don’t get me wrong, the gym for me is only a nessesity. I actually don’t like it. It’s only to stay fit with aging.

Fella      5/2/06 2:13 PM
About this friendship thing; do you think you’ll have the desire to get together again anytime soon?

I do not know what to say about that. I feel pestered. I do not answer.

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TODAY

Fella      5/3/06 9:38 AM
Thanks again for a suprisingly wonderful time last week. you’re more than i could’ve ever asked for. I can’t say enough on how unfortunate it is that it’s ended

Fella      5/3/06 9:39 AM
Whats worse still, is i fear i’ve become exactly what i want not to be, someone you’re nolonger interested in getting to know. Another XXXXXXXX guy.

Fella      5/3/06 9:39 AM
And for that reason alone i must try & retain some dignity. I choose not to be a bother & let you go. It’s pointless to give myself false hope knowing the truth

Fella      5/3/06 9:40 AM
I’ve erased your ph# to keep myself from calling you. I wish you all the best & that you’re able to give endlessly all that you gave me in one night to another.

Fella      5/3/06 9:40 AM
Any man would be so lucky for you to allow him to love you! Goodbye fancy face. I still hear your laughter from our last night together. Iron leafy bars?The bed

Me      5/3/06 10:02 AM
It’s interesting that you come to that conclusion, because after last night’s message, I knew I was going to have to suggest that you give yourself a break and let the idea you had of me fade away until we could have a chance to hang out sans the overwhelming pressure. I understand what you’re doing completely. You can always call in the future when the “Steve fever” has left you. It’d be great to get to know you more under more relaxed circumstances. Thanks for the honesty.

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Fella was perfectly nice, a gentlemen, and not creepy in any way. But I could not deal with the instantaneous pressure to be in communication with him at all times. I know what it’s like to fall for someone almost immediately, and I feel very bad for Fella because there’s nothing to be done in a situation like this. I could have seen him more, but I didn’t even get a chance to ease into anything, and that’s not good when the other person is already smitten.

That’s the tale. So it goes. When will I get to be utterly, immediately smitten?