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"Troy" sucks. How can I say that more concisely? "Troy" is monkey poop. Although I must say I laughed quite a lot during the movie, particularly when Hector says to his wife, "If I die, do you remember what I told you?" That’s not so funny in and of itself (although the way Eric Bana delivers the line is amusing) — what had me laughing is that the film is so bad I kept adding my own "MST3K" lines (only in my head, of course), and I heard his wife answering, "Of course I remember: ‘Righty tighty, lefty loosy.’"

That pretty much seems the most important thing anyone can say before they die, anyway.


Steve Expounded Thusly:

I’ve somehow narrowly avoided seeing Troy. I was meant to go last week, but fate threw in a glorious curve and I’ve missed it so far. I really just wanted to see it so I could write a review making fun of it. So thanks for taking care of it for me! My work here is done…

Thursday, May 27th, 2004 • 1:06pm • Permalink

Luther Vandross Expounded Thusly:

Well, I changed my mind. "Troy" isn’t monkey poop. It’s actually DAY-OLD monkey poop.

Thursday, May 27th, 2004 • 4:53pm • Permalink


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