Bait

What I hate more is when my toaster beats me at Scrabble.

I did it! I finally trounced Ashanti!

I have had this Backgammon game on my phone since Thanksgiving, and I am playing the Tournament variation, where you keep meeting different "players," moving on to the next challenger only after you’ve soundly beat the last.

I have been incredibly frustrated that my latest opponent, "Ashanti," has been creaming my ass for many, many weeks now. Do you have any idea how it feels when your cell phone is better than you at Backgammon? Do you? Of course, I have attributed many an Ashanti win to really lucky rolls on his/her/its part, and really unlucky rolls on mine. Such is the prerogative of the consistent loser.

Today, just now, Ashanti bit the dust. He/she/it even had the balls to redouble me after I’d redoubled it, right when my victory was 85% assured! I kept that son of a bitch on the bar for several turns, blocking him/her/it in until there was nothing he/she/it could do but whimper in defeat. Oh, such sweet victory!

Ahem.

Though it is, of course, just a cell phone.