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Exit ArchiveArchive for March 15th, 2005

My fucking GOD! I can NOT believe this! How angry can I get at a stupid cell phone game? HOW ANGRY?

A lot, it seems!

I have been smeared dozens of times in a row on my stupid-ass Backgammon game. I have to be very careful not to throw my brand new (and I love it!) Nokia across the room, shattering it into a billion pieces.

Really, are these games programmed with some kind of “luck” feature? Let’s consider a scenario:

There are two pieces on the bar, and three spots open to get back on the board.

If I were in this situation, I would likely not get anything off the bar and back into the game until the second roll, and then I’d only get one piece off, leaving the one I just freed to be slammed back onto the bar, and miraculously the opponent would then fill one of the three open spots, leaving me with only two to escape into. I’m pretty much screwed from then on out.

Now, if the fake opponent were in this same situation, it would get the roll it needed to not only get both of its pieces off the bar and back into the game, but enough to land on two of my single pieces and then leave nothing of its own open for me to attack.

Even taking real, honest-to-goodness luck into account, I would have smashed this son-of-a-beeyotch game by now and been on to the next opponent. (I’m in a tournament, see, and once I smear one opponent, I move on to the next.) But no! I can have all my pieces ready to go, blocking the other guy, and be this close to being ready to put pieces into my home, when some roll will split me up, and boom, with a roll of the dice that can only be rigged, my opponent will render me incapable of winning. And no, there will be no way to do the same to it in return. I will lose.

I am not being a sore loser to say that I really think the game rigs the rolls. That has to be how the difficulty levels are changed. And I’m on NORMAL! I’d hate to see the game on Difficult.

Damn, maybe I should erase the fucking game off my phone. It’s honestly ruining my day!

NOTE: The author of this rant is aware of how pathetic he sounds in letting a cell phone game ruin his day. He is also aware that he’s likely to be made fun of for this.