The Ranting Wren The Wren Forum Banner
The Glorious Wren The Movie Wren The Photo Wren Old Man Wren

Exit ArchiveArchive for April 28th, 2005
Permalink Comments Off on Nutrition Bar SHOOT-OUT!Comments Off on Nutrition Bar SHOOT-OUT! By

While enjoying the fun and thrills of OS X 10.4 and the new Mail features, I re-discovered a nutrition bar review I wrote during a sales meeting in August 2003. At that meeting, we had constant access to a bewildering variety of nutrition bars. Hating nutrition bars in general, I thought it’d be fun to try as many as possible! It was like comparing wooden apples to wooden apples.

Instead of letting this never-sent e-mail go to waste, here it is in its uneditied glory!

NUTRITION BAR SHOOT-OUT
(Best to Worst)

Balance Chocolate Raspberry Fudge
It’s like chocolate raspberry truffle as concocted by your lumberjack uncle Clem!

Balance+ Yogurt Berry Plus Antioxidants
Mystery berries and tangy yogurt do their best to disguise the soggy gravel brick.

Balance+ Honey Peanut Plus Ginseng
A touch of honey, a touch of peanut, a barrel of compacted dusty cobwebs.

Balance+ Chocolate Banana Plus Antioxidants
The slight hint of fake banana flavor nearly overwhelms the bland pastiness.

PowerBar Raspberry and Cream
Delightfully tart raspberry flavor wrapped in raw, moist vitamin ooze! Delish!

Balance Outdoor Chocolate Crisp
Texture and flavor just like compressed wood mulch with “Waft-o-Chocolate” binding agents.

Balance Chocolate
Since when should chocolate taste like nuclear sewage? And a radiation-sickness aftertaste? UGH! Disgusting.

Permalink Comments Off on Truck Full o’ TigerComments Off on Truck Full o’ Tiger By

Only I will appreciate this, but I’m posting it anyway, because that’s what this space is for!

The FedEx guy came in a with a normal-sized box and asked me, “Is this a cell phone?”

“Uh, I doubt it,” I said. “I don’t know what it is.”

“My truck is full of these. Everyone’s getting boxes like this, and they look like the boxes the cell phones come in.”

“Well, I’m not getting a new cell phone.”

Both being curious, I opened the box. It was Tiger!

Mac OS X 10.4! Days early!

I don’t think the FedEx guy was as excited as I was, but it made sense to him. And I love knowing that his truck is full of boxes of 10.4, all going out to make people happy today.

Permalink Comments Off on Marketing Runs AdobeComments Off on Marketing Runs Adobe By

I love this posting on Daring Fireball. What happens when sales guys run a creative company? Gosh, I wouldn’t have any idea…

I love this guy’s writing and logic, and it’s silly that I have not yet put a link to him on my homepage.