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While enjoying the fun and thrills of OS X 10.4 and the new Mail features, I re-discovered a nutrition bar review I wrote during a sales meeting in August 2003. At that meeting, we had constant access to a bewildering variety of nutrition bars. Hating nutrition bars in general, I thought it’d be fun to try as many as possible! It was like comparing wooden apples to wooden apples.

Instead of letting this never-sent e-mail go to waste, here it is in its uneditied glory!

(Best to Worst)

Balance Chocolate Raspberry Fudge
It’s like chocolate raspberry truffle as concocted by your lumberjack uncle Clem!

Balance+ Yogurt Berry Plus Antioxidants
Mystery berries and tangy yogurt do their best to disguise the soggy gravel brick.

Balance+ Honey Peanut Plus Ginseng
A touch of honey, a touch of peanut, a barrel of compacted dusty cobwebs.

Balance+ Chocolate Banana Plus Antioxidants
The slight hint of fake banana flavor nearly overwhelms the bland pastiness.

PowerBar Raspberry and Cream
Delightfully tart raspberry flavor wrapped in raw, moist vitamin ooze! Delish!

Balance Outdoor Chocolate Crisp
Texture and flavor just like compressed wood mulch with “Waft-o-Chocolate” binding agents.

Balance Chocolate
Since when should chocolate taste like nuclear sewage? And a radiation-sickness aftertaste? UGH! Disgusting.

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