It seems my job has been the source of 90% of my anxieties for the past year. (The other 10% are caused by imagined physical ailments, sexual tension and concern that we have not seen Vicky from The Love Boat in far too many years.)

Three weeks ago to this very day, I received a completely unexpected phone call from a professional acquaintance who offered me a job. He did not say, “I am interested in getting you down here,” or even, “Would you be interested in talking with us?” He said, “I want you to work for me, and I want to pay you (this much). Yes or no?” Of course, the answer was not that easy, and a great deal of time in the past three weeks has been spent hearing the offer, negotiating terms for possible acceptance, and contemplating the prospects. It was a very good deal. Today, I turned it down.

My current employer has also offered me more money — replete with more responsibility — to stay here. Meanwhile, there is a third prospect that remains active, but which shall not yet be discussed here.

I have never in my life been in a position where I was being sought for a job rather than seeking one, or in the position to request considerations from my current employer. It’s unusual. It’s not as pleasant an experience as I would have imagined. When you are in one job and actively apply for another, you hope you will be chosen, but since your employer does not know what is happening, if things don’t pan out you can remain gladly in your present capacity. In my situation, everything (well, almost everything) has been done in transparency with my employer. They know there are other offers. They know I have choices. The other would-be employers know I’m in a good situation here. Essentially, I’ve found people fighting over me, and I always imagined that must be a wonderfully flattering thing to have happen.

It’s the biggest stress-inducer I’ve ever experienced.

Aside from tripping in Spanish class in 10th grade and having to endure taunts for the rest of my days in that class. Which is why I ditched it so frequently.