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Exit ArchiveArchive for March 6th, 2006

So it seems Pope Benedict XVI was given a 2GB iPod Nano a few days ago as a gift from Vatican Radio in honor of his visiting the station. It was a white one, of course.

“Computer technology is the future,” he said upon receiving the gift. Good to see the papacy is in the hands of the brightest and best.

The iPod came pre-loaded with files, of course, including audio of some of the station’s shows. It also had music by Beethoven, Mozart, and other hacks.

I hope the RIAA sues the pope. I could see the courtroom now:

“Mr. XVI, did you buy this iPod new?”

“Nein. It was given to me as a gift.”

“So it was used?

“Nein. It was new.”

“It had never been touched by another’s hands, mortal or divine?”

“Well, ja, it had.”

“So it was not new?”

“It was new, but it had been opened by someone to put some music on it.”

“Oh. I see. So there was already music on your ‘brand new’ iPod when you opened the box?”


“Please help me, your pontifficleness… are you saying you had already used your iPod before receiving it as a gift?”

“Nein. Only God can perform such mira—”

“Yes yes. I know, I know. So if you did not put that music on there, who did?”

“Perhaps it was Father Lombardi.”


“Ja. Or one of his staff.”

“I see. Very interesting, Mr. XVI. So Federico or someone under his command filled your ‘new’ iPod with music. Did they borrow some of your CDs?”

“I do not own any CDs. Only 8-tracks.”

“So where do you suppose, your holiness, Federico or his stooges got the music to put on your iPod?”

“It is a radio station. I am sure they have access to the music there.”

“Yes, I imagine they do, your blessedness. I imagine they do. Say, I wonder—and I’m just thinking out loud here—do you think maybe Vatican Radio owns the rights to the music they broadcast?”

“Only God knows such—”

“Yes yes. As I said, I’m just thinking out loud. So I wonder, as I continue to think out loud, whether Vatican Radio owns the music they play.”


“I WONDER if the music is theirs to give out at random. To whomever they choose. To any Tom, Dick, and Pius.”


“I WONDER, Mr. XVI, if Vatican Radio feels that a small token of THEFT is nothing to worry about. That perhaps the mighty RIAA is not so mighty as the Holy Church. I WONDER, MISTER right-hand-of-God, if you think you are above the laws of man!”

“The laws of God are above the laws of man.”

“I see, I see. Very, VERY interesting. So you are implying that GOD HIMSELF put Beethoven on your iPod? Specifically, that God himself directed Father Lombardi (a Mafia name if ever I heard one) to put Herbert von Karajan’s 1993 version of Beethoven’s 5th symphony, Deutsche Grammophon CD catalog number 439 004-2, on your iPod for your own personal use?”

“That was Karajan? A good Arian friend…”

“Be here now, popey boy! You’re an accused accomplice to music piracy! I wouldn’t be so glib if I were you!”

“God shall protect me.”

“I wouldn’t go—”

“God shall protect me, for I am his vessel. God is above piracy, a pitiful man-law that is nothing but laughable to Him. If God wants me to get the latest song from that Stravinsky fellow, or that spicy RuPaul, or Madonna herself, I will get it, Mr. Frackman, and so help you Him if you get in His way.”

Permalink Comments Off on Macs for Tycho and What’s-His-FaceComments Off on Macs for Tycho and What’s-His-Face By

The gents over at Penny Arcade have had one of the most entertaining strips on the Web for years. At least of the strips I’ve read. (Robb’s is one of my absolute faves, too.) What makes this a special feat for them is that they do a gaming comic, and I’m not a gamer. I do the Halo 2 thing maybe twice a year and suck at it like Bush sucks at Cheney’s toes. So even when I have no idea what these two are talking about, I laugh. Or maybe not always laugh, but I smile. They make me smile or laugh.

I had to especially laugh-smile at their latest, in which their worlds are finally infiltrated by Macs. While the Intel chip was a good excuse for these two to Mac, it seems Tycho, at least, is impressed by other factors.

When the Intel Macs were announced, Tycho said something that suggests supporting a concept I (and others) have been pointing out for years: No one loves using Windows. They just use it because that’s what they have to use. But people love using Macs. Windows machines are just tools, like, as Tycho said, a Phillips head. They do what they can do and that’s about it. But Macs are more. They truly are a different “experience” and many, many people who use Macs look forward to using them every day.

If my new quad G5 could also produce hot, chocolatey cake with smooth and creamy frosting stippled with tiny chocolate chips, I would love using it even more.