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Since yesterday’s post was so annoying, I thought I’d collect some good news for today! I wrote this whole post out once already, but lost it when the RealPlayer installer closed my browser. Oops. No, it was my fault. It asked me first, but I just wasn’t thinking. As punishment, I’m going to stay here at work instead of going home to watch The Tick so I can re-write the entire post. So here goes…

To start with, you are not alone! Nope. According to this article, most theater patrons are in favor of jamming cell phones in theaters. I myself would also be in favor of a slapping law. If you text message or talk on your cell phone during a play or movie, each other patron would be allowed to slap you, briskly, four times across the face. It may not be very Ghandi, but it sure would be fun!

Speaking of laws and the governments who can ignore them, hooray for Federal Judge Garr M. King for allowing another lawsuit against the NSA to move forward. Can we throw these activist judges a thank-you party? What do activist judges drink? Do they enjoy party games? Twister? Naked? In butterscotch pudding? I’ll bet they do, those wicked, wicked activist judges!

Speaking of activism, what’s not to like about saving the environment? What’s not to like about rechargeable batteries that work like alkalines? Nothing! Nothing, I tell you! Ah, finally… no more guilt using the nose hair trimmer!

Speaking of nose hair, it’s the 40th anniversary of that Tribble-riffic show, Star Trek. Lore Sjöberg, formerly of The Brunching Shuttlecocks and now, it seems, creating new Flash animations at Bad Gods, got to have a lovely chat with William Shatner on this very special occasion.

Speaking of the Heimlich maneuver, since I did close yesterday’s post with a funny tidbit, I’m going to close this happy post with a potentially annoying tidbit. But, hey, come on, when Georgie Bush gets handed his own bullshit back to him on a platter, it’s damn happy reading in my mind. You can actually hear GB flounder and sizzle with anger, thanks, once again, to Democracy Now. Click here for the audio file (it’s a RealAudio stream, unfortunately), and start listening at 15:10. It’s worth it. If you simply aren’t a lover of audio-visual stimulus, here’s the transcript in boring ol’ text format (I added back in all his uhs and stutters and the note on his anger):

AMY GOODMAN (DEMOCRACY NOW HOST): On Monday, he [President Bush] admitted the Iraq war is straining the psyche of our country, but vowed to stay the course. A reporter questioned him about why he opposed withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq.

REPORTER: A lot of the consequences you mentioned for pulling out seem like maybe they never would have been there if we hadn’t gone in. How do you square all of that?

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: I square it, because, uh— imagine a world in which you had Saddam Hussein who had the capacity to make a weapon of mass destruction, who was, uh— uh— paying suiciders— uh, to kill innocent life, uh who would, uh— who had relations with Zarqawi. Imagine what the world would be like with him in power. The idea is to try to help change the Middle East.

Now, look, I di— part of the reason we went into Iraq— uh, was, uh— the main reason we went into Iraq at the time was we thought he had weapons of mass destruction. Turns out he didn’t, but he had the capacity to make weapons of mass destruction. But I also talked about the human suffering in Iraq, and I also talked the need to advance a freedom agenda. And so my question— my answer to your question is, is that— imagine a world in which Saddam Hussein was there, stirring up even more trouble in a part of the world that, uh, ha— uh, had so much resentment and so much hatred that three— that people came and killed 3,000 of our citizens.

You know, I-I’ve heard this theory about, you know, everything was just fine until we arrived, and then, you know, kind of that we’re going to stir up the hornet’s nest theory. I-i-it just doesn’t hold water, as far as I’m concerned. [Suddenly vitriolic] The terrorists attacked us and killed 3,000 of our citizens before we started the freedom agenda in the Middle East. They were—

REPORTER: What did Iraq have to do with that?

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: What did Iraq have to do with what?

REPORTER: The attack on the World Trade Center?

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: Nothing, except for it’s part of— and nobody has ever suggested in this administration that Saddam Hussein ordered the attack. Iraq was a— uh, Iraq— the-the-the lesson of September the 11th is, take threats before they fully materialize, Ken. Nobody’s ever suggested that the attacks of September the 11th, uh, were ordered by Iraq.

Speaking of idiots draping themselves in the flag, Tanya was right: Pictures are more fun! I hope she enjoys this one of a God-damned, America-hating, activist flag-desecrator naked guy (sans butterscotch pudding).

American Flag with Firm Ass

1 Comment

The Wren Forum » What is WRONG with You People? Expounded Thusly:

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Saturday, September 9th, 2006 • 9:40pm • Permalink • This is a Pingback


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