Yes, it is sad but true: Chococat has gone to the great beyond.

Well, maybe that’s not exactly true. Chococat is missing. Lost for good.

On my trip to Paris, I somehow misplaced or lost Chococat. I discovered this the day Sylvia and I moved from the Radisson to the New York Hotel. I could not for the life of me remember when I’d last seen it. Her. Him. Whatever it was. Did I take it off before going to sleep that first night? Did I not put it on the next morning? Or did Chococat snap off my wrist somewhere in Paris the night before? Or—HORRORS!—somewhere in the New York Hotel? I hope for Chococat’s sake it’s been lost in Paris. How much cooler than would be.

Before leaving the Radisson, before I even realized Chococat was gone, I had triple-checked the room for anything I might have left behind. I did not see Chococat then. Had I put it on already that morning and lost it somewhere? Did it come off setting up the equipment for the show? In the hall when I changed form my sweatshirt to the t-shirt because there was no A/C on in the ballroom?

As with any missing item or person, there are many questions.

The very, very sad thing is that I had retired Chococat earlier that week. Chococat is part of my costume in the not-so-secret sitcom project, and since it was starting to crack and crumble, I was going to only wear it for shoots. But just before leaving for Paris, I thought it’d be nice to take Chococat around the world. One last, fun trip to see exciting lands!

In fact, on the Parking Spot shuttle between the garage and the terminal, the only other passenger, a nice woman, commented on how cute Chococat was. From there, we had a nice conversation until the woman got off at Terminal 1 to fly to Albuquerque, New Mexico, for a spa trip. Chococat was the most conversation-inducing item of clothing I’ve ever worn, even more than my “I Heart Jesus Minnesota” t-shirt.

Oh, the pain! The sadness! Why did I not leave Chococat safe and snug in L.A.? My months-long attempts to find a replacement Chococat have been fruitless. The woman on the parking shuttle told me to keep looking, and I guess I will. But isn’t that like trying to replace a dog with a new puppy? I’m not sure it’d be the same, a brand new Chococat bracelet.

Woe is me.

WAIT A MINUTE! What’s that on eBay? Could it be…? It looks the same, but the picture does not show the colorful flower snaps… Maybe I’ll get a new puppy after all.