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I am now officially on my vacation! I’m sitting in the International First lounge in Terminal 7. Here are some items of (not very important) note so far.

Apparently, when you fly first class, they don’t really give a crap if your suitcase is over the weight limit. Nor do they ask you to take it to the X-ray machine yourself.

On Wednesday, the TSA was wearing their usual Love-Boat-White shirts. Today, they all have on brand-new, brilliant blue shirts. I wonder how much that cost us all? I guess the price of freedom knows no budget.

My huge-ass chariot awaits! The 747 is already at gate 77. International flights seem to be the only ones where the planes aren’t flipped in 6 minutes.

LAX is freakishly empty. It’s unsettling.

The lounge lady was incredibly friendly. She loved my passport photo. She has to be paid to say so, because it’s not what I’d call supremely flattering.

I am currently enjoying cheese and crackers, a nut assortment, some tasty olives, mini quiches, sautéed mushrooms, spinach and feta cheese filo dough triangles, and free Wi-Fi. I will then proceed to enjoy a fine selection of sweets. I will not be enjoying the array of complimentary boozes, but I’m sure others are.

Sarah Palin is a power-hungry fanatic. Too bad she’s sitting only 10 feet from me. She smells like fresh-cut ragweed.

The in-lounge DJ will start spinning in 10 minutes. I understand the exotic dancers take the stage at 9:30. They even provided me with a stack of singles with which to tip.

And that is all for now. Aussie Lek signing off.

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