You know how yesterday I was saying I don’t believe in signs?

I take it all back!

Tonight, as I was nuking two oft-overlooked soy dogs in an attempt to (uno) be healthy and (dos) save a little cash, my eye fell on the two Fatburger coupons I’d reminded myself that morning not to forget. They were for a FREE Fatburger each! Heaven! The only catch was that the coupons were good for TODAY ONLY. Crap.

I cursed my sieve-like brain and asked myself if I should abandon the nasty soy cylinders and just get my butt to Fatburger. I decided not to. Why waste perfectly good bad dogs? So I plucked one dog from the plate to put on bread–I didn’t even have proper buns!–and that’s when the miracle happened.

The second dog stuck to the first, then disconnected itself, plopped back onto the plate, and leisurely rolled off it, bouncing off the edge of the counter and onto the floor. After a stunned but happy pause, I shouted, “It’s a sign!” I abandoned the remains of my pathetic meal into the disposal, grabbed a coupon, and marched triumphantly to Fatburger.

So I take it back. I believe in signs. I was meant to eat real cow tonight.